Full Circle

Once again.... the blogging has been less frequent than the running.

I've run several times since my last entry.... nothing terribly notable. I've done the lower Tinicum loop a few times and maybe a treddy run or two. It's been a slow process, trying to regain my fitness.

Most of my runs lately have hovered right around the four mile mark, so yesterday I decided to try to go longer. I wanted to do something I used to call the Seebeka loop - essentially, the lower loop of Tinicum with a mini upper loop, without going around the lake.

Looking back in my blog, I see that I ran this loop almost exactly a year ago. Reading that entry is depressing me right now as I was in such a different place with my running. I also see that I was about to begin dealing with some hip pain that put running on hold for a while. I had a mojo going then that I have yet to regain.

Seeing that I did the same loop a year ago about four and a half minutes faster than I did yesterday does not leave me with a good mind set. Ironically, as I was finishing my run yesterday (and feeling pretty wiped) I was thinking about how I'm working on being more accepting of myself when I'm not running the way I wish I were. It's not easy. I tell myself that I should feel good that I'm continuing to be consistent with running, that most people can't run as far as I can, and that the purpose of my running is to stay and shape, relieve stress, and be outside. Still, it's hard to not be competitive with myself.

It's been a rough year for me running wise... with the hip injury, then my back, then the pneumonia... and I guess I should cut myself some slack. As I get older, I'm realizing that I'll be a much happier person if I do so.

I didn't head into this blog entry with the notion that I'd be reflecting on the past year... though, for some, this is the end of the year. Given how I felt this time last year, I would have never predicted that I'd be heading into such a disappointing year, running wise. So, perhaps, given how I'm feeling about my running now, I'm heading into a great year of running.. and hopefully other wonderful things as well. One can only hope.