Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans

While on the phone the other night with my friend Juliet, this saying came up. Googling it, I've learned that the quote is attributed to John Lennon. This phrase has been rolling around in my head quite a bit lately as I feel somewhat stuck in a rut. I have a lot of plans, a lot of things I want to do and accomplish... and I believe those things will happen... but right now it seems that I am in a bit of a time warp - the kind where everything slows down to a painful crawl and none of those plans or ideas seem even close to fruition. To combat this torpid state, I run faster.

Jumping on the treddy early this morning, I had no real plans, other than mileage. In fact, I planned on running a bit slower than I have been since I haven't been liking the pressure I've put on myself to speed up. Despite feeling like I was really barely running and wanting to speed up, I kept the first mile to just under nine minutes. And then something weird happened.. the treddy just shut down. I don't know why. I couldn't get it to come back on. Rather than try to figure out the art of treddy maintenance, I jumped on the neighboring one. I was pissed though, pissed that my workout had been so rudely interrupted.

It wasn't really a conscious decision to change 'the plan' and run faster, it kind of just happened. My body wanted to go faster; my legs were itching to turn over more quickly. I even wondered if this treadmill was calibrated right (who knows, maybe it wasn't... but we'll just go on the theory that it was). The next four and a half miles were kind of a blur. My iPod was cooperative, playing a mix of songs that were largely up tempo and with just the right amount of angst. The pace hovered right above 8 minute miles... those 4.5 came in at 36:24.

While on the one hand I feel good about the run, on the other, I don't feel like I can take credit for it entirely as it seemed fueled by things other than just my desire and ability to run.

Regression/Progression?

A cold, windy morning out on the drives. I think I need to update my winter running wardrobe. I knew when I started out on this run that it was going to be a chilly one and, really, I just wanted to get it over and done.

My first mile felt fast. I knew I was going faster than I probably should have, but damn, it was cold and windy and I was convincing myself that if I could just get around that next bend, the wind would die down a bit. Plus, I figured, the faster I ran, the faster I'd get warm. Mile 1 came in at 8:18 - which for me is a few seconds below tempo pace.. and, yes, probably a bit too fast for me for mile 1. Mile 2, still cold, but a little slower - 8:20.

I had in mind to do six total - three out, three back, but at this point I was feeling really tired, windblown, and did I mention cold?... so I opted to turn around at the 2 1/2 mile mark instead. This third mile was really hard for me for some reason. I knew I was slowing down and I didn't really care too much (mile 3 at 8:24).

Sometimes I think I put too much pressure on myself to try to run harder/faster each time I go out. This stands in sharp contrast to how I used to approach running. I have seen positive effects from this - my average mile time has come down about 30 or so seconds in the past year. But I also find that I am enjoying running in a different way. I was going to write "enjoying running less", but I'm not sure that really captures it. Yes, I do think it's true that I'm enjoying it less overall, but I have enjoyed the faster times I've run. I feel a sense of accomplishment.

I know I miss some of the camaraderie of running with Amy, but I also think that some of my enjoyment of running has faded because of this self imposed pressure to do better - i.e. run faster and, to some extent, run more miles. All in all, I've enjoyed my runs less in recent months. This reminded me of something I read on the PhillyRunners message board the other day about someone who was running in the Philly Marathon. He decided mid-marathon to just stop. This guy is an accomplished runner. He was having a good race, time-wise, but just didn't feel as though his heart was in the race. He had no motivation to continue and finish the race. Wow. I'm not there. I'm not feeling like I don't want to run.. and believe me, if I were having a good race (time-wise) I'm pretty damn sure I'd just stick it out and finish. I don't want to get to that point where the love for the sport it gone. And, really, I don't think I'm close to that, but this morning was a struggle.

Anyway.... getting on with it. So... miles 1,2, & 3 got progressively slower... but again, right around tempo pace. Mile 4 I dropped it back down to 8:20. I kept making those little deals with myself to try to keep from stopping. It seemed to work. I was very glad to get to the last mile... so much so, that I ran it in 8:04.

All in all 5 miles in 41:25.

Post-Gluttony Penance

I hope everyone had as wonderful of a Thanksgiving weekend as I did. My brother and sister-in-law were in town from Thursday until Sunday evening. We managed to fit in a run on Friday (see last entry), but opted for some dance classes (specifically Bachata and Salsa) on Sunday instead of running. On the one hand, I did not miss lacing up for that long run... on the other hand, I knew that if I didn't get it in, I'd feel like a big bloated stuffing monger. So, since I had the day off yesterday (Monday), I decided I needed to do it. Of course, this decision only came after some whining about how cold and wet it was outside. Wah!

I have really no clue exactly how far I went, since I decided to forgo possibly encountering Tinicum mud puddles and opted instead for the mean streets of Delco. If I really, really wanted to, I could probably G-map it with some degree of accuracy, but I don't have the time or inclination to do so.

The run itself was just okay. I had some of the highly acclaimed Interpol on the iPod, which I liked and helped get me through most of my run. The hip felt pretty good. I really think the PT is doing some good!

I ran for exactly 77 minutes and given that it felt like a pretty quick, typical-tempo pace, let's call it a little over 9 miles.

Two-fer

I have ample excuses for not blogging... though I don't like that I've fallen behind on my entries. I ran on Wednesday and had all sorts of thoughts about what I'd say in my entry for that run, of course I've forgotten mostly all of them. I even knew what the title was going to be: I Heart Global Warming.... sort of. As you might recall, Wednesday was unseasonably warm. Originally, I had pants and a long sleeve shirt on, but as soon as I opened the door and felt the warm air, I turned right back around and changed into a tank top.

I made it out for my run somewhat later than is usual for me(due to a really, really late salsa night). Ran out to the track - did a mile at the track - and then headed home again. I felt okay... not great, but okay. There are a few 'hills' en route to the track, reminding me that hills are really something I should be adding to my repertoire. By the time I got out to the track, I was pretty warm and feeling kind of down about how much that last hill before the track kicked my butt. I did the mile at a comfortably hard pace - which turned out to be 7:48. Then, back home... and I enjoyed the downhills.

This morning, Scott, Sarah, and I headed out to try to undo some of the Thanksgiving damage. We did the initial loop of Tinicum. I expected to feel not so great with the food/wine hangover, but I felt pretty good. In contrast to Wednesdays run, it was quite cool (in the 30s or low 40s) with a good stiff wind. I was a little nervous running the interesting part of the loop. While the fall colors are beautiful, most of those colors are now in the form of fallen leaves on the trail - obscuring tree roots, rocks, and holes in the trail. Fortunately, all went well (my proprioception seems to be functioning pretty well).

I didn't worry about time during this run, as it was more about going out, post gluttony, and sharing Tinicum with Scott and Sarah. I felt good, though and felt like my pace was pretty quick... around tempo pace.

Weds - probably just shy of 5 miles in 40mins.
Friday - again, a little under 5 miles - and I'm not sure of the time.

100th Post

Wow, that went pretty quickly. Here I am at my one hundredth post on this blog; I'm impressed with myself that I've stuck with this that long. Of course at one point I could have said the same thing about running.

The Philly marathon was today, which quashed any ideas I might have had about going down to the drives. The forecast for the morning wasn't great - good chance of rain, windy, and on the cold side. I had thoughts about the hamster wheel. It's funny, as much as I complain when I have to run on that thing, I still look to it for comfort when faced with possibly not so nice weather conditions. I knew I'd never make it for the nine or so miles I was hoping to do today on the treadmill, but I entertained ideas of running the 3 miles out and back to the gym to run three or so more in the relative comfort of the treddy. This was ridiculous, I decided. How could I say no to Tinicum in the fall? The answer, of course, is that I couldn't.

I've always been envious of those who can hash through lots of things in their minds while they run. Usually, for me, I don't do too much serious thinking during my runs. Today, I tried to make myself think. Towards the beginning of my run, I was thinking about all the things I have to do for work, studying, the upcoming holidays, etc. I didn't like that train of thought, so I let it go.

One thought that kept coming up for me was the idea of being alone. I've been kicking about the idea of being alone in a number of different ways lately. Of course, most immediately, I thought of how I was running alone and how that's been a fact of my running in the last few months. Amy has been out of commission, running wise. I miss her. I miss the camaraderie, the 'deep thoughts' we would come up with during our runs together. I miss having someone beside me to push me when I needed pushing and to suffer along side of me during those miles that never seem to end. And, of course, its harder to get myself out the door on a morning like this morning if there is no one waiting on me.

On the other side of the coin, there is something nice about being alone. I alone set the pace. If I want to go faster, I go faster.... if I want to slow down, I can do that as well. Running alone is also highly consistent with my sometimes all too existentialist way of looking at life. This is sometimes a good thing and sometimes not - depending on the day and how far I take it. Today, I felt a lot of ambivalence about my solitary state. Neither unhappy, nor content.

All of those ruminations aside.... the run itself felt pretty good. I was facing a stiff headwind for about 70% of the time I was out there. Fortunately, the rain held off to a just a sprinkle here and there - nothing too bothersome. Tinicum was quiet - saw a handful of humans, some in groups, others alone like me. I was the only runner - something that gave me pride, but also had me feeling lonesome.

The hip remains feeling pretty good. I'm cautiously optimistic. There was a bit of awareness of the pain initially, but not nearly as bad as it's been and, as is usual, it faded after the first two miles. This makes me happy.

9.4 in 79min 2sec.

Day Late

Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know, blogging takes work. Honestly, though I've got enough going on with other types of work to worry too much about blogging.

Did a treadmill workout yesterday. The hip is still feeling good (knock on wood, touch black, throwing salt over my left shoulder, all that stuff). I took the first mile easy at right around 9 minute pace. The rest were progressively faster. No, I don't know the splits, but I do know that overall, I averaged tempo pace.

5 miles in 41:45

Tedium

Wednesdays are horrible days for me to blog. I'm just too damn busy. Luckily, there isn't too much to say. Hamster wheel morning. Lately I can't seem to quite find my groove on the treadmill. I find that my stride feels different and I'm more prone to having shoulder pain while I run than if I'm running outside.

As far as the hip issue goes. It's still an issue. As bored as I am with dealing with it and writing about it, I'm thinking that it might actually be helpful to me (and my PTs) to keep better track of when I have pain and when I don't. I find that it's sporadic and fairly unpredictable - at least it seems that way - though, maybe if I track it better, I'll be able to see some sort of pattern.

Of course, it's always there when I start out on a run and today was no exception. I didn't have the more intense pain as badly during those initial 200 or so steps, but it did linger for about the first two miles or so before fading away (either due to adrenaline, me just ignoring it, or to it actually going away... I don't know). But I am noticing it more during times when I'm just walking during the normal activities of my day. Today, so far (late afternoon), it hasn't been bothering me at all (except for when I was running).

A boring 5 in 42:25

Heavenly Day

What a beautiful fall day. Can you believe I was practically whining as I headed out the door for my run? I only wanted to do the figure eight loop, which would give me about eight and a half since I'm still kind of "on the mend"... so believe it or not, I drove the stinkin' half mile to and from Tinicum. I actually think this made a bit of a difference for me psychologically - it's just nice to not run that stretch of highway with the carbon-monoxide and the ever present road kill.

This was the longest I've run since the Delaware Distance Run. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel, so I made a deal with myself to take it at a reasonable pace and just try to enjoy the run. I felt pretty darn good throughout. After about five miles, I knew I was getting tired, but I still felt good. Towards the end - like the last two miles - I was still feeling good, so I did little fartleks here and there.

The hip wasn't too bad... even on the start up. Interestingly, while on a walk yesterday, it bothered me almost the whole time. Go figure.

Well, anyway.... it was a really good run and it was nice to know that even though I haven't run more than 6ish miles in over a month that I can still go out there and tear up Tinicum.

8.56 in 71:30

Hibernation

Okay, I'm starting to get the point that winter is here - or is, at least, very close. Given the warm days we had all through October, I've been reluctant to relent to the notion that it is getting colder outside - and the days are shorter than they were. Boo and Hiss to both of these things. As I thought about my run for today, I figured a hamster wheel jaunt was probably the way it would go since I wanted to get it done early.

As I climbed into my car to drive to the gym around 5:30, I had that cold and sleepy feeling that reminded me of doing just this very same thing last winter. That's pretty much when it hit me that, despite the Indian summer we had, winter is, indeed coming. I thought about the upcoming months of cold, possible snow, and darkness and all I wanted to do was crawl back into my warm bed to sleep. The hibernation instinct kicking in. But instead, I went to the hamster wheel.... which got me thinking.... Do hamsters hibernate? (Guess you'll have to click the link to find out).

Anyway... there isn't too much to write about hamster wheel workouts, at least for me. I had a bit less pain this morning as I started my run. Hopefully that means the PT is working.

5 miles in 43:05

Mindfull

A perfect fall morning for running - sunny skies, crisp air. I ran this route - mostly the initial Tinicum loop with a tiny neighborhood piece tacked on at the end to try to stretch it to five miles.

I've been good about keeping up with my PT, doing my exercises daily and trying to keep track of how my hip feels. The first 200 or so steps of my run this morning were definitely the worst - almost enough to make me not want to keep going. Almost, but not quite. Eventually, it did ease up.

Tinicum was quiet this morning. There was a fairly stiff headwind that was pretty constant, despite the fact that I was running a loop... reminded me of the drives. No wildlife to speak of. There were a lot of random thoughts tumbling around in my head during the run, though I can't put my finger on a single one right now. Mostly work related, life related... contemplating my future... that kind of thing.

The running felt pretty good, once the hip pain subsided. At some points during my run, I felt that my cardiovascular capacity exceeded my muscular ability to run faster. I don't know if this is common or not. I hate to say it, but it had me thinking that I need to do some hills and/or think about the track again. We shall see.

For now, though, I'm trying to focus on my rehab and count among my blessings that I am able to run.

5.07 in 43:15

Bridge Run

This morning was the Bridge Run - which (kind of) starts and ends at Campbell's Field (home of the ferocious Camden Riversharks. Mmm, mmm, good.). I didn't have high hopes for this race. Given that I've been dealing with an injury, and that my running has been waylaid in the process, I wasn't sure until about a week and a half/two weeks ago that I'd be running it at all. Even as I drove home from salsa last night, I thought about ditching it. I wasn't relishing the idea of ending the fall running season on a down note. I'm happy to report, it didn't go down that way.

Seebo (in all his hobbled-glory) lined up with me amongst the plebeians. I could tell this made him jittery, but I think it was good for him... to see how the other half live. As is customary, there isn't much running when you're in the thick of the pack for the first two hundred yards of the race and from there, there's a lot of bobbing and weaving through the masses for at least a quarter mile. Now, since this run starts at the base of the Ben Franklin Bridge (on the NJ side), it's all uphill for the first 3/4 of a mile. Doesn't seem like it when you're in the comfy confines of your sedan, but when you're hoofing it, the 'gradual incline' is a force to be reckoned with. Being in the thick of the crowd probably helped me keep the first mile at a good starting off pace (8:27ish). Right towards the end of that first mile, you're headed down the other side of the bridge. It was fun to cruise down the other side - kind of like a reward for the climb that started the race.

Not having checked out the course map before hand, I didn't realize that the turn around comes immediately at the foot of the other side of the bridge (in PA). Somehow, in my mind, we cruised the streets of Philly before heading back up and over the bridge again. Nope. Ok.... so just as I was all smiley and happy-feeling with the down hill, I realized that what was going down was going to go up, and up, and up again... in short order. Ok, fine. So up I went. Mile 2 came in under 8 minutes. Good. Money in the bank, as they say.

Coming up the other side of the bridge was difficult. I was sucking some decent wind, but then there was the sweet reward of the downhill again. I like downhill. Mile 3 came in somewhere around 7:49, which is faster than I have any business running right now - even if it is downhill. I paid for those two sub-8 miles later though. Mile 4 felt good and I was cruising at around an 8:10 pace.

I don't know what happened during mile 5. Maybe I shouldn't have haggled so long over the price of some rock. Get it?.. I'm in Camden... buying some crack... ok... not funny... sorry.. just trying to come up with some reason why mile 5 took me 8:37. No good excuse. The last mile and change felt pretty good. I should have looked at the course map beforehand because the finish line kind of snuck up on me. Finish time (by my watch) was 50:36.

So I end the fall racing season with another PR (by over two and a half minutes). I am very happy and, given my low expectations for this race, pleasantly surprised.

*** ADDENDUM ***
Chip time was 50:35.
537th in 2034 10k participants.
13th among women aged 30-34.
1st place in the Rebecca division (out of five)!!!

On the Mend

This afternoon was my first Physical Therapy session. Keith was very nice and seemed knowledgeable. He put me through many of the same motions Dr. Collina did as well as a few others. Based on his assessment, his best guess is that there is one (or maybe a combination) of three things going on. One: I have a "sports hernia"; Two: I have scar tissue in that area (rectus femorus) from a past injury/wear and tear and that's rubbing against the hip joint; and Three: I have early arthritis. Either way, he gave me an elastic band-thingy along with instructions for two strengthening exercises and one stretching exercise. I'll be a good patient and do these daily. We shall see what happens.

In the meantime, his prescription was to run! Run and keep track of the pain. Being the obedient patient that I am, I went right out for a run.. a quick 4.25 (in 36) - that'll do for now. As is usual, the pain was there mostly in the beginning but eased up after about two, two and a half miles. And, again, it's pain I can live with. So I guess I'm happy with how things are going right now. I forgot to ask him if I can go back to regular mileage - but I'll ask him next week, no biggie. I did remember to ask him if he thought my salsa dancing was in any way related or contributing to the problem. He confirmed what I already knew... its not. Salsa would never hurt me! (Never mind the two inch long gash that's finally healing after two weeks on the top of my right foot - those salseras in their heels can be dangerous!)

The Bridge Run is Sunday. I'm signed up for it, but not feeling in racing mode with all that's gone on lately. Plus, I have some serious salsa plans with Jill for Saturday night. My only saving grace may be the fact that we set the clocks back an hour Saturday night/Sunday morning, so that will give me an extra hour for sweet sleep.

The fall racing season for me started out pretty well. I PRed in three races. While I'm disappointed that things have kind of petered out towards the end, I'm thankful for the good races I had and am looking forward to a healthy spring season.