A cold, windy morning out on the drives. I think I need to update my winter running wardrobe. I knew when I started out on this run that it was going to be a chilly one and, really, I just wanted to get it over and done.
My first mile felt fast. I knew I was going faster than I probably should have, but damn, it was cold and windy and I was convincing myself that if I could just get around that next bend, the wind would die down a bit. Plus, I figured, the faster I ran, the faster I'd get warm. Mile 1 came in at 8:18 - which for me is a few seconds below tempo pace.. and, yes, probably a bit too fast for me for mile 1. Mile 2, still cold, but a little slower - 8:20.
I had in mind to do six total - three out, three back, but at this point I was feeling really tired, windblown, and did I mention cold?... so I opted to turn around at the 2 1/2 mile mark instead. This third mile was really hard for me for some reason. I knew I was slowing down and I didn't really care too much (mile 3 at 8:24).
Sometimes I think I put too much pressure on myself to try to run harder/faster each time I go out. This stands in sharp contrast to how I used to approach running. I have seen positive effects from this - my average mile time has come down about 30 or so seconds in the past year. But I also find that I am enjoying running in a different way. I was going to write "enjoying running less", but I'm not sure that really captures it. Yes, I do think it's true that I'm enjoying it less overall, but I have enjoyed the faster times I've run. I feel a sense of accomplishment.
I know I miss some of the camaraderie of running with Amy, but I also think that some of my enjoyment of running has faded because of this self imposed pressure to do better - i.e. run faster and, to some extent, run more miles. All in all, I've enjoyed my runs less in recent months. This reminded me of something I read on the PhillyRunners message board the other day about someone who was running in the Philly Marathon. He decided mid-marathon to just stop. This guy is an accomplished runner. He was having a good race, time-wise, but just didn't feel as though his heart was in the race. He had no motivation to continue and finish the race. Wow. I'm not there. I'm not feeling like I don't want to run.. and believe me, if I were having a good race (time-wise) I'm pretty damn sure I'd just stick it out and finish. I don't want to get to that point where the love for the sport it gone. And, really, I don't think I'm close to that, but this morning was a struggle.
Anyway.... getting on with it. So... miles 1,2, & 3 got progressively slower... but again, right around tempo pace. Mile 4 I dropped it back down to 8:20. I kept making those little deals with myself to try to keep from stopping. It seemed to work. I was very glad to get to the last mile... so much so, that I ran it in 8:04.
All in all 5 miles in 41:25.
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2 comments:
It is a weird thing the way running changes as you get better at it. I could tell you twenty memories, in vivid detail, from my first marathon--NYC 2003. My most recent one--NYC 2007--is a blur, lost to concentration and mile splits.
Part of me fears that getting faster ultimately makes me a less interesting person.
But the better I get, the longer my runs get, so the more time out there elbow to elbow with John or Seebo or whoever, which is a good thing that has nothing to do with race times, or even with running.
I often don't enjoy running. However, I always enjoy having run - which keeps me going.
Otherwise, do something different on your easy runs: don't keep pace or - better yet - go for a trail run.
I tend to over-watch the splits, too - throwing some trails runs or garmin-less runs into the mix helps me lighten up.
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